babytown

So. Yesterday was something! We got home around 3pm and sure enough our dewar was there. We brought it in, B and I took a shower, then we went to thaw what turns out to be a tiny sample of semen. I was expecting there to be a lot of it, and it to be kind of gross. But it was just fine. Slightly pink, actually, and such a small amount! As B started the IUI I prepared myself for some major pain, but I felt nothing. All in all it went very quickly and was much less eventful than I expected.

I'm reading "Buying Dad" and have to say I found this book just in time, right when I was having my freak out. It's been a great substitute for actually being able to talk to someone about her experiences, and I'm really grateful. Not to mention it's a great read. Anyway at one point she wrote about how some women just know, the moment they are pregnant they know it. I don't feel one bit of different, other than the reminder every once in a while that I just inseminated. But wouldn't it be amazing if it happened our first time?

So the reason this post has it's title is that everywhere I look there is a reminder that we're really doing this. Even yesterday, after we realized I was ovulating and that we were not going to get to inseminate in time, we walked down to have breakfast. There on the sidewalk was a pollen penis - that is, a penis made out of pollen.  Right away we turned a corner and a woman was walking with her tiny child strapped to her. Then on the way back from breakfast there was a guy with two babies - twins, I'm guessing - in their carseats sitting at the top of the stairs of what I'm guessing was their building. All this in a short time in a neighborhood that has very little to do with families, and more about young (or not so young) queer boys and girls hooking up and the latest greatest new club or bar.

Then today we went to babytown, aka the lake in our neighborhood that has a walking/running trail around it. It's a hugely popular place for folks to get their exercise - it's very pretty and very family friendly. So it wasn't surprising to see lots of parents with their kids, but it seemed like every other person was either pushing a baby in a stroller or was hugely pregnant. Babytown.

This next two weeks is going to last forever. I wish we could fast forward and know whether or not the insemination worked. Two weeks. *sigh*

whirlwind

-the dewar will be delivered on Monday.
-today is day 16, sunday. i normally ovulate on day 20 - 18th at the very earliest.
-i did my ovulation test (opk) this morning around 11am and it showed that I'm experiencing my LH surge. Day 16 - wtf??
-which means, the egg will be popped and gone by the time we get the sperm. we missed it. fuck.
-sad morning. totally bummed out and we haven't even inseminated yet. thinking this must be what it feels like to get your period after inseminating.
-off to c's office so he can call and cancel his appointments tomorrow. we don't know when this is going to show up and we want to thaw and insem as soon as it arrives. might as well-it's coming anyway.
-at c's office. i look up the fed-ex number and the tracking page says it WAS DELIVERED YESTERDAY. 4:15pm. how did we miss it? we went there to pick up our stuff to catsit around 11pm. it was there??
-off to rush home and inseminate. really hoping it's still there. holy shit holy shit.

my first freak out

B checked my cervix last night. This is not new - we've been doing it for months to check for ovulation. But last night was the first time we did it in anticipation of inseminating. I'm starting to freak out a bit, wishing I had someone to talk to directly about their experience with anonymous donors. It's actually getting me incredibly emotional so I think I'll take a break from writing.

a few days away!

We ordered the sperm! It'll be here on Monday. We'll inseminate a day or so later. Holy shit.