Where to start? It's kind of amazing to look back at my last post. Since then, we have bought our first house, and I am currently waiting to hear from the woman I mentioned below, to see if she's pregnant (she would have just found out this past week). I'm freaking out.
Three of my friends/colleagues have had babies this past month - over a 3-week period, in fact. I haven't met any of them yet, but it's gotten me thinking hard about what we're doing here. We want another child, and could simply pick another donor. I went to the website today and saw several options. But when I even considered going back there, using new sperm, I practically had a panic attack. There's no way I could do it before becoming completely confident in our decision. I'm not sure I could get there, so where does that leave us now?
I turned 40 in July. I don't have much more time. It's agonizing, trying to figure out what to do.
That said. I have had some health stuff come up, especially in the last 6 months, and it would be a bad time to become pregnant right now. I know I need to work on becoming healthy again before working on carrying a child. But I need it to move quickly, which is typically not how it works.
On the upside, as mentioned, we bought a house! In another suburb not far at all from our last rental. It's a super cute ranch-style cottage, kind of small (whoa have we downsized our stuff, and still have a ways to go), with amazing yard space that I can't wait to landscape. It. Feels. Good. Although stressful because of the lack of storage (although we're remedying that this week by converting our carport into a storage/work space), I'm ultimately so happy it's ours. Even if we move in 5-10 years, this house fits us and I'm thrilled. It's also in a cute, seaside town, and only a quick train ride to the city.
Well I just got a text inviting us to visit one of the new babies, so off I go! This one is part of our chosen family - I can't wait to meet him.
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