Well, it's (mostly) official. I'm having a miscarriage. The last two weeks have been brutal. Not even because I was miscarrying, but because we didn't know for sure that's what was going on. My hcg numbers 480, 440, then 660, then 650, then 900, then today, 461. So finally it's going down, but the whole time the numbers were staying stable or going up, we had no clue as to what was happening. Blighted ovum? Miscarriage? Ectopic? Or a pregnancy that was located somewhere else? (really, that was a thought by one of the doctors)
When the numbers hit 900 two days ago, we let ourselves get hopeful. Then that night, I cramped badly and started bleeding again, and it hasn't stopped. So I wasn't surprised by the numbers today, but I was still very sad to have it confirmed.
The good news is that we now have some answers, and hopefully will be able to try again in March. In the meantime I'll be working on some self-care, starting with this weekend, when we'll be heading to a nearby island for some R&R. Can't wait.
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